Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I Ate Too Much Pot Popcorn

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Did you vote to legalize it?




It's okay if you didn't.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

SOCIAL NETWORK TAKES IN 8 Million On The First Day

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On Friday night, the Social Network took in a sweet $8 million bucks, which was okay, but Eli Roth produced The Last Exorcism made $20 million it's opening weekend and it only cost $2 million to make. Just an interesting note.

Here's the Friday night breakdown:


1 (new) The Social Network Sony Pictures Drama $8,000,000
2 (1) Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps 20th Century Fox Drama $3,278,000
3 (2) The Town Warner Bros. Drama $3,103,000
4 (3) Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole 3D Warner Bros. Adventure $2,600,000
5 (4) Easy A Sony/Screen Gems Comedy $2,193,000
6 (new) Let Me In Overture Films Thriller/Suspense $1,900,000
7 (new) Case 39 Paramount Vantage Horror $1,800,000
8 (5) You Again Walt Disney Pictures Comedy $1,640,000
9 (6) Devil Universal Thriller/Suspense $1,107,000
10 (7) Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D Sony/Screen Gems Horror
11 (8) Alpha and Omega 3D Lionsgate Adventure $601,000

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kesha At 13!



The Tik Tok singer can really sing.

Can you imagine this girl turning into the girl below!

Tiger Is Sorry... Again



This time Tiger isn't apologizing to the public, or to the whores, or to his wife, or...wait... did he ever apologize to the whores? Those poor women (see bottom of post).

Anywhore, Tiger and his pretty wife Elin, who I'm pretty sure is going to slaughter Tiger in his sleep at some point (just a guess), have sent out an apology to the parents at his daughter's school for all of the paparazzis being camped out all over the place.

Here is the full note:

"Dear Premier Academy parents, We would like to share our appreciation for your support over the past several months and offer our personal apology for any inconvenience you are experiencing due to the increased media scrutiny surrounding our children.

We truly understand how frustrating it can be. We hope that the paparazzi will find something better to do with their time in the near future.

In the meantime, it is our goal to keep life as normal as possible for our children. We are sure that as parents you can appreciate that. For Sam, that normalcy means attending the school that she enjoys so much.

Again, we truly appreciate the support from the entire Premier Academy family.

Kind regards, Elin and Tiger Woods"


Poor Elin. You need to get your money and get out. Or you could just suck it up and say, What the fuck, and let Tiger get his game on. The only problem is, and my mom pointed this out to me, and I'm pretty sure she's right... TIGER IS A SOCIOPATH. The dude is freakin nuts. And I'm pretty sure he's an evil sunufabitch. He might be one of dem aliens come down to Earth to take over the world. Any day now, that cheap fifty cent Halloween mask he calls a face will melt off under the heat of the Paparazzi flash bulbs and he'll stick out his tongue of doom and eat the cameramen one by one.



Also, check out one of Tiger's mistresses' Press Conference. She and her attorney, uber bitch Gloria Allred, are suing Tiger (I think). And what are they asking for?

A good for nothing apology! She's distraught over all the unwanted attention the scandal has given her... so SHE HAS A PRESS CONFERENCE TO TELL EVERYONE!

I've never seen this bitch, and I hope this is the last time I do. And Gloria Allfuck for that matter.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

First There Was Couple's Counseling...



In true Charlie Sheen fashion, Chuck has checked himself back into rehab, so he can chill out and run out the shakes. Meanwhile, his wife, Brooke Mueller, has ALSO checked into rehab.

ISN'T THAT CUTE!!! (*awkward smile/grimace)

Some sources are saying Brooke doesn't think that crack is whack. And my guess is that whatever Brooke's doing, Chuckles is doing it in spades.

Maybe they were just huffing glue or good ole fashioned boozing.

Although, I can't seem to get the image out of my mind of Charlie sitting in front of a mound of Peruvian Flake practicing his lines for Two And A Half Men.

"Is that funny?" He asks his dealer.

"Fuck no" the dealer responds.

Here's something for you little Career People to look at whenever you want a laugh sandwich:

Monday, February 22, 2010

Free Betty White!



So rumor has it that the lovely and talented Betty White will be hosting the big SNL! Saturday Night Live.

But, there is one serious problem.

That same pesky rumor also says that she'll be CO-HOSTING the show with other famous women... I think it was former women of SNL.

FIRST OF ALL! Fuck that.
Second, fuck you.
Third, Betty is not a former lady of SNL (FOR SHAME!). She doesn't need anybody to help her host this shit show.

Fuck, five minutes of Betty White on the Craig Ferguson show is more laughs than three and a half seasons of Saturday Night Losers.

Seriously Lorne Michaels, give Betty her own episode. Don't be stooopid!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Leo Still Has It



And Martin Scorcese helped, too!

Shutter Island, Martin Scocese's latest flick about a cop who goes to a haunted mental institution (go figure!) made $40 million at the box office this weekend making it the number 1 movie in America.

Leo can take the money to get some facial lipo... dude's got a little fat face. He used to be so well proportioned. And now it's like that extra roll at dinner goes straight to his cheeks (insert ass hole joke here).

Valentine's Day came in at number 2 with $17 million while Avatar (wtf?) came in at third with $16 million.

Okay people. You need to see Avatar, then let it go. James Cameron is wiping his ass with our hard earned recession dollars, while we're standing in line at the free Church lunch. Why? So we can save enough money to see fucking Avatar again.

Just watch old reruns of Smurfs on Youtube instead. Everyone knows Avatar is just a rip off of the Smurfs anyway.

Rue McLanahan Is 76 Years Young Today



I want all of you stone heads and Golden Girl Fanclub presidents to get out to the Hallmark store (They have a 99 cent section) and purchase the wonderful Rue McLanahan (the ho from Golden Girls) a beautiful 21st birthday card (she is eternally young).

It's Rue's 76th birthday today, and if it weren't Sunday, I would take the day off work and go to Church or something (Church's aren't open on Sundays, right?).

If you're too lazy to leave your apartment today, then just sing-a-long with the video below, and you'll be forgiven.

And yes, I'm reposting!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Whatchu Talkin Bout Insider?



Oh Gary. My sweet little hershey kiss. My fair little lady. My poor little poo poo.

This video just shows you not to F$%# with Gary if you want an interview. You do it Gary's way, or you don't do it at all.

I wonder if they still paid Gary the millions he's worth even though he walked off the set. He probably only got his standard six figures, and a bowl of cheerios served to him on his favorite High Chair (Fisher Price makes 'em like no one else!).

Let this be a lesson to all of you other media types. Don't screw with Gary Coleman or you ain't get nothing! You're just lucky, INsider, that Gary didn't hog-tie your asses with his "I'm A Big Boy Cowboy" play set from Leap Frog.